Bernardo Faria On Why It’s Okay To Say No To Rolling With Certain People
Beloved BJJ ambassador and former world champion Bernardo Faria recently released a video that stirred an old debate within the community. In this video, Faria went over why it’s okay to say no to training with certain people when you don’t want to. Here’s a breakdown of the points he made.
Your body, your rules: “It’s your body. If you don’t feel like rolling with someone today, for whatever reason, you have the absolute right to say no. Nobody should ever feel obligated.”-Bernardo Faria. Reasons can be anything — you don’t even owe an explanation
- The person rolls too hard/spazes too much, and you don’t want to get injured before a competition or in day-to-day training.
- You’re already tired or nursing a minor injury.
- You know, they’re the guy who smells terrible or doesn’t wash their gi.
- You just don’t feel like dealing with that specific person’s style or energy that day.
- They’re much bigger/heavier, and you don’t want to spend 6 minutes being crushed.
He explicitly says, “You don’t have to justify it. A simple ‘No thanks, man, maybe next time’ is enough.” Saying no protects both people. If you roll when you don’t want to, you’ll probably roll defensively, frustrated, or too hard yourself — and that’s when injuries or bad blood happen. Saying no up front prevents that. It’s not personal (most of the time)
Bernardo stresses that refusing a roll is seldom about thinking the other person is “bad” or beneath you. It’s about self-preservation and training smart. He himself says no to people, even though he’s a world champion.
In many old-school gyms, there was (and sometimes still is) this macho idea that saying no makes you soft or rude. Bernardo pushes back hard: “That mentality is stupid and gets people hurt. We’re adults training a martial art, not prisoners.”
Why Bernardo is Correct
- Most serious BJJ injuries happen in day-to-day training, not competition, often because someone rolled with a partner they didn’t want to roll with and either got smashed or retaliated too hard.
- Longevity in the sport: People who feel they can’t say no eventually burn out or quit because training stops being enjoyable.
- Respect and consent culture: BJJ involves very close physical contact. Consent and boundaries matter the same way they do anywhere else.
- Professional athletes do it all the time: Watch any high-level camp (Atos, AOJ, Checkmat, etc.). Top competitors routinely say no to certain training partners, especially right before competitions. If it’s good enough for world champions, it’s good enough for everyone.
Bernardo’s exact quote (from a popular BJJ Fanatics interview, paraphrased slightly) “I train five, six hours a day. If I said yes to everyone who asked me to roll, I would be dead. Sometimes I say no to black belts, to big guys, to white belts who go too hard — no problem. And you should, too. Protect yourself.”- Bernardo Faria.
Bottom line, Bernardo’s stance has become one of the biggest cultural shifts in modern BJJ: Normalizing the word “no” makes the mats safer, friendlier, and keeps people training longer.
Almost every major instructor today (John Danaher, Gordon Ryan, Lachlan Giles, etc.) echoes the same message now. So yes — if Bernardo Faria says it’s okay to say no, you can take that to the bank. It’s not just okay; it’s smart, mature, and responsible training.
Watch the full video below.
Bobby is martial artist for almost 20 years with a BJJ black belt under Professor Sergio Miranda. He is also a karate black and former combat sports athlete, who loves all things grappling.